Going With Your Gut

Every now and then difficult decisions find their way into our lives and if you're anything like me, you struggle greatly with them. I mean, I can't even decide where to eat dinner on the daily, let alone make a life altering decision! Decisions are scary! Making a decision means something is in fact going to happen... something different than if you had chosen another option. What if you choose wrong?! Helloooo anxiety. Anybody else? Just me? 

Recently, I had one of those seemingly ginormous decisions come flying into my life out of nowhere. I was on my fifth teacher interview and all was going well. I had a good feeling that day. They offered me a fourth grade position, great!! I was excited and ready to accept. I text everyone in my phone, "GUESS WHO'S TEACHING FOURTH GRADE MATH AND SCIENCE NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!" I then proceeded to buy a cupcake to celebrate (obviously). I pulled in the driveway, excited to eat my treat when the phone rang. Another job offer... this time for first grade. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I have forever wanted a K-2 teaching position. All through my year of student teaching fourth grade, I made remarks of how I couldn't wait to get back to the lower grades. So... you'd think this would be an easy decision, right? Wrong, so wrong. I became beyond overwhelmed. Don't forget about all those text messages I sent out. My phone was already blowing up with congratulations texts, just in time for me to awkwardly text back and be like... just kidding... maybe... I don't know. 

Let's get to the part you really came to read about, how I dealt with the anxiety of making this big decision. First off, the fourth grade position just felt right. I knew it in my gut. There was just an overwhelming feeling I had that it was the right choice. I was beyond confused by this because it was everything I had said I didn't want. I became worried about what people would think! Would they think I had settled for less and just accepted what came my way? This brings me to my second point. Sometimes what's right might be the farthest thing from what you envisioned (and let the haters hate). The final thing that helped me was talking to other people. In talking, my true feelings came out. Every person I talked to told me to go with the fourth grade position. They could just tell.  

I went with my gut and the reality is, if I don't like the choice I made, well... I can do anything for 10 months. Relax. Decisions aren't so bad. Take a deep breath and work your way through them. You've got this!